Ok today is my day off and I was thinking about all the suckers that have to work today. So here are some tips to get out of going to work. if you have some of your own I would love to hear them and to gether we can stick it to the man!!

I was sprayed by a skunk.
I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
I couldn't find my shoes.
I hurt myself bowling.
I was spit on by a venomous snake.
I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
A hitman was looking for me.
My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
I eloped.
My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India (note: she passed away 20 years before).
I forgot what day of the week it was.
Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
A tree fell on my car.
My monkey died.